It's lingerie week! Claudia starts off by referencing 50 Shades, which, no. Come on, Claudia, you're better than that. I won't digress into a Worst Thing Ever rant because you will actually not be able to stop me, but I have OPINIONS on those fucking books.
All the contestants chat about how they hope they don't have to make bras, making a bra would be the worst thing ever, please don't make me make a bra, so of course as soon as they enter the room they're all given soft-cup bra patterns and told to make with the stretch lace. Josh is particularly worried as he has "meaty hands". Eugh.
A fashion historian with the most amusingly posh voice I've heard in a while tells us about Edwardian lingerie, and then we go on a tour of the room. Claudia is upset by the all the colour people are using. Joyce doesn't use patterns normally, but says "I'll try and fit in, as long as I can do it my way." Calling it now: Joyce is Official Slapdash Favourite.
The finished bras are mostly pretty good. With the exception of Angeline, who lost a lot of time unpicking things and hasn't finished, and Josh, whose bra is predictably Josh-like (but also bright orange so I WANT it, or at least a similar orange lace bra that isn't quite so badly made), most of the judges' critiques are pretty nitpicky. Rumana's bra breaks on the mannequin, which is awkward. Joyce wins with an amazing purple bra that the judges can't critique even the tiniest bit, YAY SLAPDASH FAVOURITE JOYCE. I actually kind of want to try bra-making now. Am I mad? I might be mad.
For the alteration challenge, everyone is told to pick three different silk scarves and make them into a piece of lingerie. It's a really interesting idea but WOW are there some ugly-ass fabric combinations going on here. Charlotte's, Jade's and Josh's bother me particularly. And what is Josh making? Why, a "sort of drop-waist jumpsuit", of course. I can't decide whether Josh's advanced level of cluelessness is endearing, hilarious, or just infuriating. But at least he's not wearing a hat this week. What he ends up producing is some kind of paisley tunic with split side seams and comes last because of course he does. Jamie makes some worryingly unattractive lady boxers with terrible hems, and Tracey wins for being the only one to not mix fabrics too hideously. Well done Tracey.
Going into the made to measure challenge, it seems pretty obvious that Josh will go home, especially given that he's been on borrowed time since week one. Everyone is asked to make a robe, and the judges will be paying special attention to the sleeves, the fit around the shoulders, and the work done on the collar. This is definitely a thing I want to try soon, so I'm taking notes.
Charlotte produces a floral kimono robe in cotton lawn, and makes up for her choice of an easier fabric with loads of hand-stitching and perfect finishing.
Rumana makes a kimono robe from crepe back satin, which is also lovely. Patrick complains that the collar is sitting away from the neck and EsMay snaps that this is historically accurate as the Japanese considered the neck an erogenous zone and geishas would always wear their kimonos that way. I feel that this exchange warrants EsMay getting a nickname back, but I can't for the life of me work out what.
Angeline produces an enormous red satin vintage thing, which is completely impractical and also gorgeous and I WANT it.
Tracey makes a collarless robe in satin and lace, which the judges seem to like but I think is actually kind of ugly. Tracey and I do not share a taste level, this much is clear.
Jade decides to make a man robe from a black and white geometric print with pink piping, which looks really good. It would be nice to see someone doing something interesting with their pockets at some point, mind - I know they all want to show how spiffy their pattern matching is, but I like interesting pockets, dammit. Give me a print on the diagonal, at least.
Jamie is... fucking up substantially. He's also making a man robe and it's basically all wrong. He decides he's going to quilt it then cuts corners for time, the collar looks weird, the sleeve cuffs are wrong, and it's just a mess. Exactly the kind of mess I might have produced, but a mess nonetheless. Patrick says "you just haven't done it very well," which is about equivalent to a judge on any other reality show straight-up shooting someone in the head.
Josh, on the other hand, has not fucked up. EsMay is super impressed by his incredibly floral man robe, his collar and sleeves are done well, and it looks as though he's saved himself. Cut to Jamie not looking so happy.
Joyce produces a paisley-ass lined robe which I'm not a fan of despite her being my new favourite, and the judges aren't particularly enthused either. Lining a dressing gown was possibly not the way to go.
Garment of the week goes to Charlotte, which I'm fine with, and third boot goes to Jamie, which I am NOT fine with despite it clearly being the only option here. I really liked what Jamie was doing and he was the only one I was sure was going to be a finalist, but there's no denying that he done fucked up this week. Josh lives to fight another week, which baffles me to no end.
Next week: going international with Chinese dresses, sari refashioning and African print dresses. It looks awesome.
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