Here it is YAY I'm so excited even if you're not. I've managed to cull it down from all the ramblings in the world, strange rankings, and speculations on I don't even know what, to a list of five things I learned in the last month and their attendant goals, plus a list of one-line observations for me to bear in mind in the future. I feel I should get credit for this.
What I Learned From Me Made May
Lesson One: If it's not terrifyingly practical, it had better be stunning.
I've learned that the wearable portion of my wardrobe basically splits into two categories: the Super Practical (requires no complicated underwear arrangements, doesn't wrinkle badly, easy to go out or slob around in, doesn't need constant readjusting) or the Certain Level of Impressive (not great for slobbing around in and requires a little more care, but is made of stunning fabric and fits well and people will say nice things about it when I wear it). Very occasionally stuff is both, but that is a very long term goal.
Goal: When planning a project, work out which category it will fit into and pick fabric and pattern accordingly. In the longer term I want to increase the overlap between Practical and Impressive, but I'll write a more detailed post on this during the summer.
Lesson Two: The three things I most wished I had were loungewear, layering, and pullover knit dresses.
Over the course of the month I found the absence of these three categories to be the most limiting. There were several days when I wasn't feeling great, and while I put on me-made stuff to take a photo and go to the shop (to meet the "I have to leave the house in it for it to count" rule that I secretly came up with somewhere along the line), but then came home and took it all off again because I couldn't lie in bed wearing it. Similarly, my Colette knit dresses actually got worn multiple times because I often changed into them in the evening to go dancing. The dancing has taken a back seat over the past year, but now that I'm getting back into it a bit more I do need to prioritise sewing stuff made for movement. The lack of layering pieces was the most restrictive overall because it meant I couldn't wear any of my dresses more than once, and that got seriously annoying by the end of the month.
Goal: Locate three suitable patterns for each category (loungewear: pyjamas, dressing gown, something to wear indoors on hot days; layering: cropped cardigan, cropped jacket, some kind of cardi/scarf hybrid if possible; knit dresses: three variations on short sleeved, fitted bodice, non-fitted skirt without gathers) and make between one and three patterns in each category. Follow progress on this as a project.
Lesson Three: I already know in my gut what works and what doesn't.
I spend a lot of time inside my own head by trying to talk myself out of opinions I hold. When it comes to, say, ethical issues I think this is one of my better qualities, because I will have attempted looking at the question through every viewpoint I can come up with. When it comes to my clothes it's just a waste of energy. Planning is good. Taking a critical eye to my sewing and style is also good. Trying to talk myself into or out of liking something I've made is not good. I have all the information I need when I stand in front of the mirror and my brain goes "ooh!" or "well..." and I need to start paying more attention to that going forward. There were things I already knew I wasn't going to wear when the month started, and they should have already been gone.
Goal: This is the hardest one to come up with a defined, practical goal for, since there's no real way to quantify "I will try to be more honest". I think the best I can do right now is to commit to regular once-per-season checks on my wardrobe for things I don't wear and/or don't feel good in, and to post about projects I've recognised as being unsuccessful.
Lesson Four: I have my default silhouette now, which needs to not become a rut.
Over the course of thirty-one days, I wore a Sew Over It tulip skirt with a short fitted top nine times, which is actually great - because of the "no repeat outfits" rule I now have a ton of combinations that I can just throw on when I want to look pulled together but my brain isn't working. That was exactly what I wanted; getting dressed stresses me out sometimes. However, I don't want to get stuck compulsively making tulip skirts forever. There are other silhouettes in this world and it won't kill me to try them.
Goal: Make a skirt and top outfit which comprises neither of my TNT patterns. Conversely, source better fabrics for TNT patterns and put more time and effort into their construction and finishing.
Lesson Five: I need to actively work on my tendency to hide away.
This is not completely sewing-related, but extremely relevant nevertheless. For most of my life I've tried to be as invisible as possible because if people don't know you're there they can't be unpleasant to you. It's something I became aware of several years ago, but awareness isn't the cure for the problem. More than once this month I put red lipstick on to make my daily photo look better then took it off before going outside because red lipstick is visible. When I don't feel great I try to attract as little attention as possible, and it works the other way round too. During my first major purge I got rid of something I can only think of as my Anonymity Top, because it was what I wore when I wanted to look absolutely unremarkable. I knew that even when I was wearing it regularly, and so every time I put it on I was painfully aware of my own shitty self-esteem for the whole day. Towards the end of the month I stopped taking the lipstick off and I felt better for it, but the need to fade away is something I need to actively and deliberately work against if I'm going to start feeling better.
Goal: Wear red lipstick a lot. Wear colour. Wear crazy earrings. Try shit that I'm not sure is going to work. Keep posting pictures (maybe not every day, but multiple times a week), because it helps. Dress in vintage drag occasionally. Make some clothes for Amber Moon. Be pretty, if it helps, or strange, if that helps more, whatever I need to do to be comfortable with being visible.
Some shorter observations
1. Streamlined vaguely vintage feminine = yes, flouncy feminine = no
2. Neutral pattern + bright solid colour is a thing worth exploring further
3. I like feeling put together and should focus on this
4. I am lacking accessories because I am so picky about them
5. Really thin jerseys end up making me sad even when they're pretty
6. Accentuating my actual body shape is better for both my style and my self-esteem
7. There doesn't always have to be number seven.
(Also, this didn't really belong in any of the other sections, but when I look back on my month's worth of photos, how much I like any given picture appears to be dependent upon how well my fringe is behaving. It's genuinely all I can see in some photos. My Cambie was the third most popular thing I posted all month, and I sat there watching it get liked going, "but why? My fringe is INSANE in this picture!" as though that's what people are looking at. Tiny extra goal: pay special attention to fringe.)
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